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12/3/20

I was watching a woman cook an egg. We were kind of crouched up in this corner. I was either leaning heavily over or sitting on top of a countertop. The frying pan was this little tiny scrap of metal. It didn't look like a frying pan. And the stove wasn't a stove. It was a hot panel embedded in the countertop. In terms of pecking order I was beneath the woman, though she wasn't much older than me. I patiently waited for her to finish using the pan so I could cook an egg for myself. We didn't talk to each other, or at least we didn't talk to each other very much.

Spencer came over and joined us on the counter. He didn't say anything to us. The woman finished cooking. The pan was free for my use but I wasn't confident I knew how to use it. I didn't know where or how to turn on the stove and I didn't know where to crack the egg. Spencer leaned over the stove and helped me. He was touching the hot pan directly and I was scared he was going to hurt himself. But he had an air about him like he knew what he was doing so I didn't say anything. The egg ended up looking like a flat white square and the yolk was clumped up weird with this texture that I don't remember. It might've been jello-y.

After this, Spencer was sitting at my kitchen table and I was sitting in my living room. A couple other people were around. A conversation was going on. I think I asked Spencer what he's been up to (or somehow the topic was brought up) and he said he's been living in New Hampshire. He wasn't reciprocating in the conversation and he didn't ask me anything about myself. I wanted to tell him that I'd been living in Boulder, CO for the past year (this was true in the dream) but since he didn't ask I didn't say. I felt angry and sad that I didn't have the chance to share this information with him. Mr. [last name] was there also, he was either sitting in the chair next to me or in my chair. He was very close to me and he started touching my thigh. I felt uncomfortable.


12/6/20

I was deserted on an island. I watched as a woman escaped on a big wave. I think she was on a surfboard. Some other people escaped on boats. I watched as the last escape boat left the island. Me and the others who couldn't escape were placed in something like a gulag. My “place” on the island was as a prisoner based on some sort of aspect of my being that I couldn't control. The guards were ruthless and sadistic and I was very scared of them. People kept getting hurt.

I was kept in this underground room with walls and flooring made of light colored wood. There was a ramp that led to a door which led outside. There were guards by the door. I climbed up the ramp and poured hand sanitizer on it. I wasn't trying to cause problems. I don't remember why I put the hand sanitizer there. I think I attempted boldly to just leave the room and walk around outside. The guard by the door said something mean to me then moved towards me and I thought she was going to beat me, but then she slipped on the hand sanitizer and slid down the ramp. She smashed into the wall violently head first and I thought she might be dead. There was a lot of blood and her nose was completely smashed. I remember thinking “I didn't want this to happen” and about how I'd be punished for it.


12/8/20

I was in downtown [city] at night in this building that was like a parking garage that led into a building with restaurants and staircases. I was there alone. I parked my car then slid down this ramp that would've brought me into the building. I was listening to something on my phone and when the audio said a certain thing, the cart I was sitting on jumped off the track and onto another track. There was something apropos and comical about it and a group of guys who were also in the parking garage started laughing. I talked to them and we joked around a bit.

Then I was in the building just kind of walking around by myself. Grace was at a table with all her friends and I felt weird and outcast-ish. One of the guys from the parking garage found me and we hung out. I was having fun. He was pretending to be pregnant or something and it was funny.

At some point Markiplier and his girlfriend showed up. We all went swimming together in a pool near the steps. The water made the steps slippery and Markiplier slipped on them. He really hurt his back so he and his girlfriend left. The parking garage guy and I had to pack up all this stuff and move it somewhere. Like we had to carry a mattress somewhere. The guy was now a girl though.


12/9/20

I'm outside on this plaza and there are two guys talking. One is short and the other is tall. But I know the two men and usually both of them are tall. This meant that the shorter man wasn't really who he said he was, but it wasn't like he was trying to trick anyone. It felt as though he were an actor replacing another actor for a scene and expecting the audience not to notice.

This shorter man rips his face off including part of the skull and brain. I watch this in horror. It's done in one swift movement. His consciousness, I guess, transfers from him to the taller version of him, the one that I'd've recognized him as. This was somehow the “backstory” of this man. I was given this knowledge, I don't know why. The knowledge that the tall man I knew was actually the transferred consciousness of himself from another body.

Then in this plaza, a woman stabs a man over something trivial, like cutting in line or something. It wasn't that, but it was something very trivial like that. I watch the stabbing happen in real time, then again in a recording afterwards: there are two women standing around, an argument breaks out between one of the women and someone else around them, and then the woman just starts stabbing this guy seemingly out of nowhere.

Later in the dream I was with Dad. We were walking with a group of people down a hallway, following him to his apartment. Or we were in a hallway within his apartment. We came into this room with a piano that had been painted. It was really old looking in its carving but it had bright, patterned paint on it. Graffiti-esque with hiragana writing on it. Dad said it was Grandma's piano and if I wanted it I could have it. I considered it, then asked if it had always been painted like that or if it was a recent change since after he and Victoria got together. He said “recent.” I said, “that's weird then” and didn't get the piano.

Then, even later in the dream, I was wandering around a building as it was shutting down. Wandering around a grocery store. A worker threw a bag of fish down in front of me. The fish fell out of the bag into the little ice-filled container where they're displayed. I walked around the grocery store. I felt like maybe I should leave. I was just meandering. There were few customers there besides me. It was all workers silently performing their tasks.

I left the grocery store then went into a huge bathroom, or some other room, and it was all dark. I couldn't turn on the lights. The room was all turned-down for the night and I felt bad moving things. I went to the door to leave. I saw, approaching me from the other side of the glass, a figure approaching and I was startled. It was an employee. I started apologizing for moving things and making her job harder. The employee was actually Flo the Progressive girl. She was cheerful and said it was ok and was kind of doing a shtick while talking to me. It seemed so performative I thought she might've actually been a robot with programmed answers, so I tried to get her to say something outside of the script to check.

She seemed to realize what I was doing, or something. She stopped her speech and gave me this look (I vividly remember the emotional shift) then said, “follow me. I have to show you.” She brought me to this back room, which was her bedroom, and she began to explain to me that there were different “Flo the Progressive Girl"s. She explained this because I think I was confused about whether they were all actresses or not. She said they're all of the same “sincerity” but they're different physically and in time and space.


12/10/20

Jordyn, for some reason, needed me to drive her home. I was supposed to drive us in her car, but that would've left me stranded in Wisconsin. I said this to her and she told me that it was ok for me to drive the car back and that she'd come get it another day. This confused me.

After this, inside the house, I was trying to talk to Anwar on the phone. The house was very loud, there were lots of people downstairs and I couldn't focus. Anwar seemed a little bit upset and I apologized to him. I tried but I could not get the situation under control. There was this crazy girl in the house who was planning on killing some other people in the house. I had to kill her to stop her. I bashed her head against a wall but she didn't die. She got away to downstairs so I started throwing shit at her down a laundry chute hoping it'd kill her, but that also didn't work.

I grabbed a knife and went slowly down the stairs (this is at the Minneapolis house). I saw her grabbing a watermelon knife and a bunch of other knives out of a knife block. She started walking towards me. She was smiling and it was terrifying. It was completely up to me to kill her, but I didn't believe that I was capable. She started throwing knives at me. Surprisingly, I could bat them away pretty easily but I was so terrified I was going to slip up and die. She just kept having more knives so it didn't even make a difference or make me any safer each time I batted one away.

The first knife she threw landed on the staircase next to me and I was able to pick it up, so I had two knives. I was on the stairs still and she was on the main floor. We were facing off near the door. I saw Owen outside, standing right outside the door and looking at us through the glass but he wasn't doing anything to help.

At this point I was terrified out of my mind that I was going to be stabbed to death. The woman got very close to me and seemed to be very serious now about “ending things.” She tried to cut me but somehow I dodged it. I used her weakness in that moment and stabbed her through the cheek, in through one side of the face and out the other. I really didn't want to kill her, but I realized that it was about to happen and it had to happen. I swiped the knife across her neck and hoped the blade was sharp enough.

The woman died. Other people came home, adults, and I waited for them to find the body. I was not going to tell them that I was the one who killed her. They found the body, only it wasn't human, it was Callie. I felt really sad. Benny was on the table and he looked very weak. I wondered if I'd done that to him.


12/12/20

I was in a luxurious, cream-colored bathroom with Johnny Depp and Amber Heard. We were all wearing white robes. Johnny asked me to ask Amber for her address. She clearly didn't want him to have her address. I asked anyway and for some reason she told me. Then Johnny got a call and asked me to repeat the address back but I'd forgotten it. The whole situation was like he was definitely trying to control or there was some sort of abusive dynamic between the two and I was just like not taking it so seriously. Johnny left and it was just me and Amber and she was talking and I realized I felt bad for her and apologized for being so insensitive and potentially putting her in danger before.


12/15/20

I was with Ben and Kai and possibly others at this park or something. The main attraction of this place was a big bridge that spanned a river. The area we were at was like a rec area of a tourist park, but since it was covid no one was there. We were taking a walk on the part of the bridge that was still on land. There were signs saying that the park is closed.

Some frat-boy looking guys came over and I told Kai to please walk on my right, so when they passed they wouldn't be right next me. There were these other people there who seemed to have the intention of going fully out onto the bridge. I don't remember what they were doing but it was really stupid. They were carrying poop bags and they thought they'd come up with some loophole for being able to cross the bridge even though it was all closed down.

Then I was walking back to somewhere, a classroom I guess, and there was this tall man with me. He was my “English teacher.” He was being inappropriate with me and flirty but I liked it and didn't want it to stop. It definitely felt like I was being groomed though and I was fully aware of that. As we walked back to the classroom we passed a book store and he said to me “I'm going to have to take you there sometime.” Earlier in the dream when I'd passed the store it was a bird store. Then we went into some other small shop together and he was showing me these Sherlock cosplays and saying that it's something he likes doing.

When we got back to the classroom everyone was already there. We were 5 minutes late. I felt a little weird walking in with him late. The class was watching this video with Miley Cyrus washed up on a beach saying something. It was a movie trailer. There was also this big rickety roller coaster on the beach and she was saying to this guy “what's going to happen is I'm gonna lie here and we're gonna run the roller coaster and someone's gonna come rescue me.” The guy says back to her something like, “are you a licensed roller coaster operator? Didn't think so.” It was a horror movie trailer.


12/23/20

I was trying to teach Julia and Charlie how to surf. I was dressed up and possibly LARPing as Marilyn Monroe. I'm in some shop and I keep getting the wrong sized pill while I'm trying to explain to them how it feels to hit the wave.

I'm at the radio station with some guy in a room and I ask him which school he's from because he looks so familiar. He kinda looks like Joey. We decide I know him from camp or something.

I'm a temporary mail person out on my delivery route. Another delivery girl walks past me and she's really short. I try to tell someone about how short she is and they ask for a pic. She tells me that it gets dark in one side of town earlier than the other.


12/24/20
  • I'm on a cruise or something. Andrew Renolds(?) the gay guy from “Girls” was an actor in a show on it, but he was my friend.

  • Dad and Victoria were running a marathon.

  • McDonalds line--going through the McDonalds line, but not getting anything.

  • I had to back a car out without looking at anything behind me.

12/28/20

I was sleeping in the Minneapolis house but it was like a mix between Grandma Sandy's house and the cabin. I was lying in my bed sleeping and the roommates were making noise in a room adjacent to me, but it wasn't bothering me. I was not entirely asleep but I was not awake anymore either. I was essentially asleep. I could still hear voices but they were very faint.

Then there was a voice really close to me and I woke up and saw that someone had come into my room and was talking to me. He was saying something completely entitled like “I'm talking to you, why aren't you responding to me.” I was taken aback by how rude and disrespectful he was being. I tried to yell at him for coming into my room without my permission while I was sleeping and how I didn't know he was talking to me because I didn't think anyone would be so audacious to come into my room. But I couldn't yell or get my point across because I was still really tired because I just woke up. I was really frustrated and embarrassed too.

Then later I was in the same room with Jordyn, but we were lying on a different bed. We were talking about what our plans were for New Years. I was about to get up and get dressed when Jordyn told me her dad was coming over and would be there soon. So I got back on the bed to wait until he left. He came into the room after that and talked to Jordyn. They were discussing her going to Atlanta for the New Year.


12/29/20

I was at a site where they were going to distribute the coronavirus vaccine. I was inside this big medical tent and it was nighttime. I wasn't supposed to be there and a nurse yelled at me. I complimented her on this puffy hot-pink jacket she was wearing and it threw her off. She didn't know how to respond. I exited the medical tent into a bigger tent that the medical tent was contained within like a matryoshka. A few people were gathering now and forming a line. I got in line. I was waiting for Greg, Joey, and Mom. I was holding a spot in line for them while they parked their car. The line was moving though and I was worried they wouldn't make it in time. I didn't want to be in line for much longer either because I wasn't getting the vaccine.

I'm unlikely to finish this, so I'll just post it. It's the nurse lady and the vaccine line.

Cassie came over and we were making popcorn. She started adding all this stuff to it like green food coloring. Then she was playing Cyberpunk 2077 and I was watching and it was like you were underwater the whole time swimming. It was like a movie but you could control the main character between the cut scenes and go do little odd things. Cassie took her character up to the top floor of some building (by swimming then flying up there) and she landed on a table and the customers got mad at her. This lady got mad at her. The building was like a Hong Kong residential skyscraper. Then she went over to a changing room to do some story-relevant thing, like finding a specific person or something. Cassie and I were trying to plan when we'll see eachother next and she said Monday and I said yes. Then I asked some guy in the porch when our semester ends and he said Monday will be our first day of break so I said ok let's see eachother then. Owen, Jordyn, Kai, and many other people were also at the house.


12/30/20

It was something about a whale being blown up in a terrorist attack and somehow I was involved. The whale was encased in a nuclear weapon or something. Really really strange.

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