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5/1/20

Extremely intense sleep paralysis horror dream. I fell asleep on my back with my arms across my chest and with an eye mask on. In the brief dream, Mom was screaming something about the car and I was confused as to why she was so upset. Next thing I know, Julia is approaching me. Next-next thing I know, Julia is grabbing me and holding my arms down so I can't move and she's screaming. Or someone was screaming this monstrous sounding guttural animal scream. When I realized how “off” the situation was, I started to really feel the horror.

All feelings of familiarity with Mom and Julia disappeared and I felt alone and confused and thought I was going to die. I went into complete panic. I kept trying to move my arms, but no matter how hard I tried I couldn't. The most overwhelming feeling was my confusion and just how much I wanted the screaming to stop. But I couldn't stop any of it. I thought I was really dying and I felt myself “fading.” I gave in to the feeling because I just wanted it to be over. Then finally, at the moment of giving in, I realized it was sleep paralysis and I came back to my body. I still couldn't move my arms for the first couple seconds. When I finally could, I took off the eyemask.


5/10/20

A cruise ship was sinking and I was on the back of it with Kate. She was lying on the deck so close to the water, but she was in a good mood. David Bowie was the captain (but he morphed into Dad for the second half of the dream at Mount Everest).

I was managing an expedition up Mount Everest with my family and my Dad was the trip leader, but I got mad at him so I didn't go on the trip. Instead I stayed in a lodge with Mom and Julia. Julia and I dropped acid and I got drunk. Then Pops was there and he wanted to watch tv with us. We watched this Monty Python bowling thing.

Julia said “why is there a water bug on your arm?” I knew she was tripping and I knew I had to get her away from the rest of the family, but I didn't want to leave because I knew Pops was dead in real life and this was the only chance we had to all be together.

There were drunk ladies at the table next to us. There was a tiny child there with Pops, Mom, Julia and me in the living room. Earlier in the dream, Dad had told me to watch the child and take a long route up the mountain, so they could have time to set something up at the base camp. I was smoking weed in front of Mom and Charlie while walking through the town to get to the base of Mount Everest. I was looking at the reflections of my ring in a mirror and they were pretty. I was drunk, but not tripping. I was scared for when the drunkness would wear off and I'd be tripping because I didn't want to trip. I didn't want Julia to trip either and I felt responsible.

Karlie Kloss was standing naked over me and I said “as someone who's seen lots of photographs, I bet you still haven't seen anything like this” and I showed her the reflection of the ring in the mirror. She had very calming energy. Charlie and his friends had already gone up and returned from Mount Everest the day before, but Charlie was going with us again today. The bar we were at morphed into the living room I was in with Mom and Pops and it was very softly lit. It was like the living room in New Jersey.


5/22/20

I was getting undressed for a shower at a hotel or someplace I was unfamiliar with. There were lots of people around in the little room near the shower and I realized the curtain didn't shut very much. I felt self conscious and didn't want to shower there anymore. And I got my phone wet when I was turning on the water.

Dreampt I was following Grandma somewhere, but there was so much wind resistance that it was hard to move forward. There was a Hmong guy pushing a baby stroller near me. He had 2 sons and they were all walking in the same direction as Grandma and me. I was trailing behind Grandma, because I couldn't walk, because of the wind resistance. I began to talk to the Hmong guy about how hard it was to walk, but he was kinda laughing at me like “yeah sure there's wind resistance.” So I demonstrated by walking in front of him and releasing a book from my hands, which shot over his head. He accused me of just throwing it.

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