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3/2/21

Mom was driving me somewhere. It felt like we were going home from somewhere. But we weren't actually. We turned off the highway into this neighborhood, pulled up to a house and got out. It was some rich woman in [neighborhood]'s house. I was confused and didn't know what was going on. It was explained to me that we (me, Julia, Mom, Grandma Sandy) were going to get photos taken by this woman at her house. We were all outside on her front patio when I found this out. Mom, Grandma, and Julia were sitting on or standing behind a bench and I was standing in front of them. The woman was standing against the railing to the side of us and her elder daughter was on the patio too.

When I found out about the plan to get pictures taken I was mad because I didn't wear makeup that day. It was the one day I hadn't worn makeup and it was the one day we were getting our pictures taken. This upset me, so I was mad. The rich woman tried to talk to me and calm me down which pissed me off even more. She told me to meditate, or more broadly she said something about how we all should just take a breath and meditate or something which pissed me off so much because she wasn't involved. Like she was just the photographer she needed to stay in her lane. I told the lady off, then the guy who sat in front of me in Chemistry walked by. He was working for the woman. We mutually recognized each other and exchanged a brief greeting.

At some point after that we went into the house and I got separated from Mom and everyone else. I was wandering around the house alone. It was night outside and the house was huge and had all these rooms. I remember walking past a room with a stage in it, like a small stage that their kids could play musical instruments on or something. And there were other miscellaneous rooms too. It was your typical superfluous rich person house. While wandering the hallway, I ran into this kid who had a baseball hat on with the n-word hard R printed in letters across the front. I figured he was the woman's son. I also saw Cassie walking around the house at some point too.

I ran into Freddie Mercury while walking down the street. We greeted each other like we were longtime friends then decided to go to a cafe together. I was in a bad mood (from the events that took place at the photography-woman's house, I think) but after seeing Freddie I cheered up. At the cafe, Freddie ordered something but I was still undecided. I heard what he ordered but I don't remember what it was called. It was something I couldn't picture in my head when I heard him say it. Anyway, he ordered and they asked to see his ID, which I thought was strange.

I decided that I wanted a burger, but the line for ordering burgers was different than the one we were in and it was longer. So we switched lines. As we were waiting for the burger line to move, Freddie got his food. I asked him what he got and he said “beans.” But when I looked at his meal, it was a sandwich with 2 hot dogs as the interior.

The cashier-woman for the burger line started calling out something, like she was offering up math classes and we were to sign up for them through her. And that was what we were waiting in line for. She said something about a linear algebra course and I got such an intense physical feeling of anxiety that I woke up.


3/10/21

I was wearing Carolyne's dad (or grandpa?)'s bomber jacket. It was like a family relic from Cuba. I was with a group of people, smoking a cigarette and we were either driving in a golf cart or walking out of some roofed area that wasn't entirely enclosed from the outdoor world. I got some cigarette ashes on the jacket, so I took it off. Underneath it I had a tank top on but I wanted something heavier so I went away from the group back into the roofed area to grab one. I ran into John as I was walking back in and I think we talked for a second but he was heading out too behind the group. I started to get worried that I wouldn't be able to catch up with them after I get the jacket.

I went to this area deeper in the roofed building that was like a Target check out area, but it was very strange and open like airport security. I guess I took off my tank top at some point, so I asked a woman who worked there if I could use their bathroom to change back into it. She said yes, but then another woman employee stopped me. She was suspicious that I was stealing so I showed her that it was just my old tank top and then she let me through.

There was a big line to get into the girls' bathroom. I got to the line at the same time as this other woman but from the angle I was approaching it would've been easier for me to get in line before her otherwise I'd have to kinda awkwardly like walk around her. But she wouldn't let me in so it ended up being awkward anyway. She was giant and scary looking and seemed like she was angry at me. I remember looking up at her and she was scowling down at me which is when I conceded and just went behind her. The line moved fast.

I put my shirt on and just decided it was ok as it was, that I didn't need a jacket, but by that time the family and John and everyone else were long gone. So I went outside and just started walking. It was night or dusk out now. I ran into Kai and his friends in an alley and they were organizing some game, or they were about to play some game. They started walking in the same direction as me. Then all of a sudden we ran into these huge scary frogs in the street. There was one right at my foot, I almost stepped on it, and then I looked around and saw them everywhere. They were like capybara size. I begged Kai and his friends not to kill them. For some reason I thought that killing them was a part of their game or just something they were going to do for fun.

Eventually Kai's group and I went our separate ways. After that it was daytime again and I ran into someone else, Jake the Dog or some character like that. We went to a snowy hill that was right in the middle of the weird little town/city we were in. It wasn't winter though. Along the way we met up with some other side characters/weirdos. I feel like our agenda was something like chasing someone or trying to get back into contact with a group of people, but the people were uninterested in us/avoiding us. And we were all only together because of our individual desires to meet up with our specific counterpart in the other group. We were like a group of side characters trying to get back and hang out with our main characters after being ostracized.

We were on one side of this snowy hill and the MCs were down in a valley to our right if you were standing facing the top of the hill. We were playing some game where we had to stay away from something, like something was chasing us slowly I feel like, but it was actually dangerous and not a game. I think the main characters were in more danger than we were, but we had no way of warning/protecting them. Eventually whatever it was that was trying to get us, like the Cat in the Hat or something, started antagonizing us side characters. In the end, I defeated whatever the threat was by pulling down this super tall ladder that it and some of the other side characters were standing on.


3/12/21

I was in New York with Margaret. Someone rang her doorbell, but we weren't going to answer because it would be dangerous to, apparently. Then I saw that it was Slavi at the door. I wondered what he was doing in New York. I saw his car parked outside the window too. I think he was planning on meeting up with someone. I was worried for him because I think the area was dangerous to be walking around or something.

Then, I was still in Margaret's house but I was working on a homework assignment for fourier analysis, which was to finish this horror video game that had something to do with the “Tomie” manga. Everyone else was way farther in the game than I was and I started getting stressed. I was still at the beginning of the game but I could hear Luke and Bryce T. talking about parts that were way beyond where I was. I finally went and asked for help from this Asian woman who was sitting nearby. I was like “I'm pretty far behind” but she was optimistic, “I'm sure it's not that bad.” Then she took a look at it and was like ok damn you haven't even completed a single objective or something. I started lamenting about how I've never finished a video game in my life and how it was like an unclimbable mountain for me, that game.


3/18/21

I was in Hawaii walking in the shallow water near the shore with Pops telling him I am pursuing a math degree. But I made it seem like I was farther along than I was, like I was already in grad school or something. I could tell that it was a fake situation though. I wasn't aware that I was dreaming but I knew it wasn't real. So I was telling him just because I could. Because it was my only opportunity to get an “I'm proud of you” reaction.

Then I was at a school in Hawaii with a lot of other students from the U. We were going to be there for the rest of the semester—is what it seemed like. Like we were there for research or something. I remember that the students and I ate breakfast together, which was seaweed and the stuff that's inside of a spring roll. At some point I went over to Prof. Hejhal at his desk and told him that I wasn't so far behind in my classes, even though I was.

Then I was visiting Raquel at her new apartment. I was walking up a stairwell. I passed the building's gym as I was going up. There was a homeless guy in there, I think, or a couple homeless people. I don't really remember clearly anymore. Raquel had built the homeless man an apartment underneath the gym and she showed it to me.

Then I was at a store shopping for a sweater with Mom and Julia. I was taking a really long time to choose which sweater I wanted.

Finally, I was playing some Mario game that was scary and difficult to defeat with Bowser. It was like a tug of war with him in the pits of hell. I had to fall off this platform and then glide Mario over to the platform underneath it. Like a speedrun maneuver. I woke up after this.


3/19/21

I was at a mom-and-pop, Hot Topic-esque store. They sold counterculture and otherwise odd items. There was a shirt with Shinji on it but it said “Gendo Ikari” and a sailor moon costume. Those are the items I remember the clearest. Mom was at the store with me at the very beginning, but she left to get on an airplane. After a while of wandering through the store I also went to the airport.

I got on an airplane that was taking off at the same time as another one. Both went down the runway in sync like they were in a race with each other. I looked out the window and saw that the runway was actually a racetrack with people running a race on it. I thought it was dangerous to accelerate the plane there, but I thought that the runners would stay away and everything would be alright. I waved at a woman who was running and she waved back. Then the runners started pushing each other in front of the plane. There was all this violence as we were plowing over people. One man's arm fell off.

Then I was in a little room in some house on our street. Me and two other kids, a boy and a girl, were being tortured and not allowed to leave. The torturer made us sit on these little spaces/ledges that were really hard to sit on. We were all crowded together in the corner and the room was beige with barely any furniture.


3/22/21

Dreampt I was in California, possibly to visit Charlie. I went to this hole in the wall restaurant, basically just a deep hallway with booths on the sides. I might've been “visiting” Charlie, but I didn't feel especially welcome. Like maybe I didn't tell him that I'd be visiting before I showed up. Or he didn't want me around at that particular time or something.

I saw Robert Pattinson sitting at one of the booths. He was Robert Pattinson but the feeling was like he was someone familiar, like Charlie or whoever. We recognized each other and I went over to the booth to sit with him and his friend. But again the feeling was like I was being invited over due to obligation rather than them actually wanting me there. I felt kind of pathetic. Like they were pitying me. I had that lunchroom “who can I sit by” feeling when I entered the restaurant before I saw them.

We talked for a bit, then Robert and his friend wanted to take a bath. They asked me if I wanted to join and I considered it, but then declined. I don't know why I declined. I sat by the tub while they bathed. They would ask me to hand them toilet paper or something, so I'd do that.

Sometime after that I was in an apartment with a group of high school peers and Zoey. Like S. L. and the [last name]s or some people from school. Or the feeling was like I knew them a long time ago but we were never friends, but now we're all grown up and meeting again. They were celebrating something, someone's birthday maybe or an accomplishment. A boy, maybe their brother, someone they knew, arrived at the apartment and he brought beer. He gave us some and told us that he'd give us hard drugs, if we'd like.


3/26/21

I was hanging out with Grace B., Jordyn, Owen and Bryce. We were at my house. I offered them freezies. I opened the freezer and then I stared into it for a while, because I wasn't sure if we even had freezies, but we did so I gave them some. They were really happy about that. Some of the freezies were not frozen, which I thought was odd because they'd been in the freezer for years. Then Grace took a shower without asking or telling anyone. I didn't care. The bathroom in the dream was fancy and super modern and dark, like with dark stone and granite.

Then we were all on a bus. I was sitting on the right side (facing forward). Ben and everyone else was sitting in the seats in front of me. Grace was sitting in front of me and to the left, maybe two rows up. I didn't really know what was going on since I was far away, but a person closer to the action told me that Grace was all weirded out and accusatory toward my mom for entering the bathroom while Grace was in there. Apparently, Mom had tried to help her find the spare towels or something, because the bathroom was modern and confusing. Grace was all upset and talking shit about it to one of her friends and it made me so angry. She hadn't even asked to take a shower at my house. Mom, who was also on the bus a few seats ahead of me, started to apologize to Grace, but Grace was being super cunty and continuing to make it seem weird and like Mom was a weirdo who enters people's bathrooms. She was disregarding all the other context of the situation, like that Mom literally just wanted to help.

I snapped, got out of my seat and went toward Grace. I started yelling in her face. I was saying basically all that—that Mom was trying to help her and that Grace was being a weirdo narcissist and making this into some sensational thing it wasn't, Grace hadn't even asked to use the bathroom etc. She was perfectly fine hanging out with us earlier, but now, to this new friend, she had to prove she was cool or something and had to shoot us down. I was straight up screaming in her face literally maybe sitting on her lap. I'd point my finger right in her face, too, and jab her forehead. I was really so angry, I kept going on and on just viciously.

Then I grabbed her phone because for some reason she had done something on there that was upsetting me or like I was trying to right some wrong—delete a text message saying that Mom did that stuff or something—but I couldn't work the phone, it was confusing to me. I saw the irony in that I needed help because the phone was different and confusing like the bathroom was and I needed someone to show me “where the towels were.” I tried to voice this irony to Grace but she didn't understand. Finally I stopped screaming at her and left.

Then I was together with Mom and Ben and some other familiar people. They were telling me their takes on what they saw me do. They thought maybe I should apologize. I didn't think that what I said or my reasoning behind it was wrong, but I did feel bad about screaming at her like that in front of other people and about just how aggressive I was with it all, so I texted her and apologized and said something about some movie director who “we should try to watch his films and get in touch with him” or something bizarre like that. I didn't expect a text back, but she did text me back and said she was in the Colorado mountains filming a movie for some other director. She said her cell service was bad or something. She was acting all straightforward, but guarded, like she'd been burned, you know, very matter of fact with me. Very annoying and victim-y. I wanted to snap at her again, but I didn't. Initially she didn't bring up the incident, but then she did in a passive aggressive way. I don't remember what I replied. I remember seeing her handwriting even though it was over text and thinking about how pretentious it looked being all cursive. I compared it to my own out of habit.

Then I was hanging out with Jordyn and Travis Barker. We were on Mom's bed. Occasionally I'd leave the room to go back to my room and there were these cats everywhere, like groups of three cats just kept showing up. The first ones I saw were on the ground underneath my chair. I thought it was some dead creature, but then I saw it was cats. Then these other groups of three just kept appearing, so I introduced them to each other by letting them into my room and surprisingly they didn't fight. So I had a bunch of cats lying down in my room. I'd leave the door open too when I left and none of them would leave.

I went back to the room with Jordyn and Travis. Travis had a bag of ketamine which he spilled all over the bed in a goofy way. I got mad at him and was like wtf why did you do that? He was like “oh, it's ok. It's ok.” I ended up cleaning it all up. It was mainly rocks instead of powder, so it wasn't so bad. Last thing I remember, he was drinking a pint of beer and Jordyn and I were like “where did he get that?” Then downstairs Mom told me it was exactly a year ago since I said I'd “call Grandma Dona the next day.”

Earlier in the dream we had walked past a table where Travis and his kids were sitting and something happened, like he made a mess on purpose and the waitress came out and was like “ugh,” but then he said he'll clean it up himself. Or he had encouraged his kid to do something messy.

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