I had a dream that I let Lola outside and it was night time and a car, a minivan, came up the street and pulled into the [neighbor]'s driveway. Lola would not listen to me to come inside, so I was really yelling at her. I waved at who I thought was Amy J. in the car, but I couldn't actually see who was in the car. Then the minivan car (that I thought was being driven by Amy J.) came back down the [neighbor]'s driveway and towards me and parked in front of our house and that freaked me out. I saw that there was a group of guys in the car and so I was really trying to get Lola inside to get away from them. Finally I got Lola inside and I shut and locked the door. The guys were yelling something, like heckling me, so I was getting scared. The car eventually pulled away.

Then the car came back and a guy got out and came up to the door. Somehow Lola got out again, and this time I was terrified because the guy was right there and I had to open the door to let her back in. But I did get her back in and then I shut the door and locked it in this guy's face. Then I dialed 911 and showed my phone, with 911 dialed up, to the guy at the door. When I actually called 911, the operator did not want to send out a patrol officer and also just did not care at all about what was going on with me.

Later in the dream, the (other) neighbors were out on our porch with their kids in a little smart car, like teaching their kids how to drive or something. I told them to go away kind of rudely because, by this point, I was sick of people being on our property.

Dreampt I was in Italy or somewhere on vacation with Catherine, Nick, Cindy, Mom, Charlie, and Julia. We split up to do different things. Mom and I went on this car ride over to an area that was more like southeastern Asia and had monsoon rain going on that we were driving through. We went to some ruins or something also. Charlie and Nick went to the “Michelangelo Museum” or so they said once we all got back to the hotel. At the hotel, I realized I had lost some teeth—part of a back molar and one of my front teeth (second or third from the middle on the bottom row). I became super distraught and was sobbing crying because it was noticeable when I smiled.

I was in bed with a naked woman. We were at a hotel or somewhere. I was lying in her lap looking up at her boobs. They were smaller than mine. I looked down at my own and compared my nipples to hers. Then someone knocked on the door. I answered and it was Grandma Dona. She asked if my friend was still over, referring to the naked woman. I said yes, but tried to obscure her from Grandma's view because I didn't want Grandma Dona to see that the “friend” was naked in my bed.

Dad was supposed to give me a ride somewhere. I was on the phone as I approached his vehicle. He was in the car. He was on the phone as well. I waited for him to get off the phone to get in the car. Instead of taking me to wherever it was I needed to go, he went to some shoe store and talked to the clerk. The clerk was going to sell him heroin, or he was somehow Dad's connection for heroin. I yelled at the clerk and some other dude who worked in the store for a long time about how horrible it was for them to give my dad heroin. Meanwhile, Dad had left the store and gone somewhere else to get heroin.

I was in a big mansion with Mom, Charlie, and Julia. We brought Lola along with us. There were a lot of people at the mansion, which I didn't expect. Other people brought their dogs too, so there were other dogs there that Lola was playing with. This made me anxious. Then Lola ran off into the mansion. I went looking for her and called her name over and over. I was so worried and upset that we'd brought her. I thought we'd never find her—the mansion was so huge. I thought we'd have to wait for all the people to leave before we'd even have a chance of finding her. But we did end up finding her.

After we found her we left the mansion and walked down this big, steep dirt road. Charlie found a pencil on the ground and picked it up. A gender nonconforming person was walking near us. They started talking to me and we shared a little conversation. They mentioned needing a pencil. Charlie seemed to not want to give away ours, so I found another on the ground and gave it to the person.

I got into a huge argument with Ashley about something work related. Other co-workers were possibly also involved. I leave the area of the argument and see [redacted]. He's smiling at me like he's really happy to see me. I walk over to him and we share a joke-y conversation. Then he leans in to kiss me. I tell him that I have a boyfriend and that I can't kiss him. I feel sort of excited though, like the type of excitement you feel when you know someone's really into you. A sexual sort of excitement. I don't want to feel this excitement though. I ultimately end up following him out into a parking lot and to his car. I don't plan on doing anything sexual with him. He's supposed to give me a ride to my car. He has all these stoner friends in the car. They keep driving to different areas of the parking lot, not where my car is parked. This ends up frustrating me a lot.

I'm inside some high-rise commercial and residential building. I'm not supposed to be there. I know that I'm not supposed to be there, that I've gotten kicked out before for loitering, but I'm there, looking at some merchandise in an area that I'm not supposed to be in. A lady comes up to me and starts talking to me about the Gremlins. She wants to unleash Gremlins in the store, or something. I don't really remember the conversation. I remember I told her I liked the movie “Gremlins 2” a lot.

She keeps following me after our interaction. She's seemingly trying to turn my dream into a nightmare. That's the impression I'm getting. I really try to get away from her but she's persistent. Finally, because I really don't want my dream's plot to go in the direction she's pushing it toward, I turn to her and drag my finger across her neck (I mime this motion, I don't actually touch her at all). This move decapitates her and I continue on.

A man follows me out into another area. He is angry at me for killing the woman and is going to kill me as revenge. I try to explain to him my reason for killing her and that it's a matter between me and her and God. I really try to explain why killing her was “ok” but I don't remember my full justification. I think that it had something to do with my punishment being God's job and not any human's to take upon himself.

Dreampt that I was in a place of business right before it was going to close. There were multiple shops in this building—kind of like a food court in a mall. Jack and I went to get Cinnabon. It was 8:58pm and the store was going to close in two minutes. We both ordered and the cashier worker was very nice despite us being there last minute. We both ordered milk, but they didn't sell milk so neither of us got it. After the store closed, we went and sat down at a table in an open area just outside the store. I heard a commotion in the Cinnabon we were just at and when I looked I saw that one of the employees was riding a horse in the store.

• I thought I saw Charlie at the airport but it wasn't him. The guy I saw was Latino and had straight/blown out long hair with a similar coloring to Charlie's. I said goodbye to Mom at the airport. I told her I have MLK day off so I could fly back next Monday.


• Had a bag of candy corn—two different types of candy corn. One was bad, the other was good.


• My grandma (?) or a female relative of mine was playing the bass. Bryce was there and he was overjoyed by the fact that … (didn't finish writing this)

I was taking a course. It was being taught by the same professor who taught my Linear Algebra and Probability courses. I saw that I'd missed a ton of assignments and it made me anxious.

Walking downtown with Charlie. He has a pitbull. His dog isn't attacking other dogs but it's being quite rambunctious in its playing. I tell Charlie that he ought to leash and keep better control of his dog, because people might get mad at it. Because pitbulls have a bad reputation for mauling other dogs. Charlie disregards me. Then we cross at the crosswalk across main street over to near where [restaurant] used to be, the street near there. As we're crossing that crosswalk, a lady pulls up really fast. It seems almost like she isn't going to stop. I scream at her and call her a stupid ugly bitch or something really unnecessarily mean and irrelevant. Just name calling. I feel bad about making a scene and worry how it reflects on my character publicly and privately—I worry that I'm a vain person because the insult of choice for me at that moment was “ugly.”

Then Charlie and I walk back to his house, which is in [neighborhood]. We're walking at night and all the houses are still lit up with Christmas lights, or some sort of lights. And all the houses are white. They're all white like [different neighborhood] houses. Very Scandinavian minimalist. We go to Charlie's house and he goes in. I wonder if I should go in too or if I should just leave. I decide to go inside. He has all this stuff, all these puzzles and other stuff, like 3 ring binders. It's as though his house is an office supply store. I assume that he's stocking up for school, or something. For being a teacher. His house is odd, it's like a duplex where the whole bottom floor is shared by all the renters. There's 3 front doors on the porch and all of them lead to this same inside downstairs area. It's a shared area. I see around the corner that a mom and her daughter are there. I find this living arrangement odd, but I chalk it up to the weird Scandinavian vibes of the neighborhood.

Then I leave and walk home to [other neighborhood]. On the way, I pass Noah T. and Nick T. They pass me and we wave. Then they turn around and come talk to me, which I assumed they'd do. I don't remember what we talked about or how I felt about it.

Going to a store with Cassie. She has to return something—a crystal ball. I complain that my bra hurts, that it's stabbing me in my ribs, the underwire. The front desk lady hears me and offers to help. We go up to the front desk and she first helps Cassie with the return. Then someone else gets in line before me and reaches to sign their name on the list for help. I turn quickly to her and, in a split second, decide to be an asshole and be socially unacceptable and just jump right in front of her to sign my name first. The front desk lady notices this and is like “ummm we're gonna actually let Savannah (the name of the woman) go first.” She says this in a sort of annoying way, despite having just told me that I'd be next. I am behaving very childishly at this point. I turn my face to try and stare directly and awkwardly into Savannah's face, another social faux pas, but she wont turn to meet my gaze. I say something insulting about how “and I thought I was pale” about Savannah's skin color. I'm eating a Chips Ahoy, or something, and I throw the wrapper over the counter as we leave. Really just being such a jackass.

Then we enter the mall and Cassie is like “let's just go to a bra store”. So we go looking for a bra store. As we're walking, I spot John K. out with his family. We greet him. Then beyond John I see Nate and I'm like wow reunion. And with Nate I see Ben. At this, I freak out and run to him and give him a huge hug. One where he picks me up. We decide to spend our time at the mall together—he, me, and Cassie.

We're in New Jersey at Grandma's house but it's a massively expensive impeccably decorated home. Like really, really expensive and sort of old fashioned style, but a very beautiful old house. It's Christmas time and there are Christmas trees in every room. I think to myself that it's such an extravagant display of wealth, time, and decorative power to put a Christmas tree in each room. Some rooms have multiple Christmas trees.

I learn that we're going to Israel, our entire family, for a vacation. I realize that I sort of forgot to pack for Israel, I only packed for NJ. So I ask Crosby H. (who is my sister or step sister) if she'll let me borrow some of her clothes. She agrees. She's hitting a weed vape pen. B is there too and as we walk through these hallways he's telling Nick about his rental car and the car accident.

Then I'm with Dad and family walking up the road, up Main Street toward Oasis but near the staircase still. We're on our way to the airport or something to go to Israel. We pass all these ice cream places, but I don't get anything. Then I realize I kinda want an ice cream. We pass one more and Mom lets me stop to get one (we're sort of in a rush). I look over the flavors and they don't really have what I want. It's an old couple that runs the stand. I ask them about each flavor multiple times before going for an ice cream called “hot chocolate” with the slogan “it's neither hot nor chocolate.” Then Dad comes over, I tell him not to engage with the couple who own the stand because they're conspiracy theorists, or so I've surmised from watching them. They're diehard Alex Jones follower types. Dad does engage with them and I believe they argue a little.

Some rather unintelligent girl that I know in this dream has a 1 year old who surprises me by speaking, not fully formed sentences, but at the level of like a 2.5 year old. The scene takes place in Grandma Sandy's living room in NJ.

Plant store that is owned by some couple. An older man and woman. The man is somewhat older than the woman and I wonder how old the woman is, she's very pretty. I'm looking around at the wares. Apparently [preschooler L] slept over that night at the store and they complain about him snoring—they're very sensitive to noise at night. I continue browsing the wares. They have these cactuses that Mom got at Walmart only for cheaper since they're “used”. This is a “used” plant store. The old man sits down and starts watching tv. He's watching this Andrew Tate video where Andrew is reprimanding his wife who he thinks cheated on him (his wife's name is Maria, but she's blonde). The video turns shockingly pornographic. I'm surprised it's allowed on YouTube. I become upset because it's weird and uncomfortable that this video is just being watched in this plant store. As I'm leaving I see a cool plant with a base with a tiger painted on it and it looks cool. I want to buy it but I don't want to talk to the man.

Dreampt that the garbage man came up to the door to give us a blue book (of the tale Cinderella) that had gotten thrown out in our garbage, which he assumed got thrown out by accident. Prompted by this, I checked the rest of the garbage bag to see that a lot of my stuff had been thrown out there. Like all my stuff from college, my calculator. A ton of stuff that I'd just put in storage was in the garbage. I felt very hopeless as I shifted through what was in the garbage bag. I felt bad because there were two other garbage bags that I hadn't checked that I'm sure were filled with stuff from my storage too. Like someone just mistook my storage for garbage and threw it all out.

Dreampt that I had a road rage incident where some guy threw a gun at me. He drove off and I wasn't hurt, but I was worried that he was so angry that he'd come back and shoot Lola. Lola was up, far away from me, on this hill, and I couldn't get to her or call her to protect her from this man.

Dreampt that I had plans to go out with [preschooler] and his grandpa for dinner to an Arab restaurant, but when I got to the restaurant with Mom, Charlie, and Julia, we had Lola and we let her off leash and they had a no dog off leash policy and an employee (who was white) opened the door to let Lola outside and this freaked me out because I was like just tell us to put a leash on her don't let her out so that she can run away and get hit by a car. So I ran out the door and put a leash on her and then turned to the guy and said something like fuck off you bald motherfucker and I ripped his hat off his head and threw it on the ground. Then I left the restaurant and felt embarrassed because of my display of emotion and cruel words toward the employee. I heard later that [preschooler] and his grandpa did go to the restaurant after us and they heard about my actions which caused me to feel even more embarrassed.

I was taking out the garbage at work just after Ms. Deb cleaned up a pee spill and I somehow turned the garbage inside out and it spilled everywhere, which I had to clean up. I started spraying bleach on it, which I then regretted.

I was in Andrew Tate's house. We were on a bed or something going through a bin of underwear. It was his underwear, but it was a women's cut. I pulled out a pair with an embroidered teddy bear on the front and asked if he ever wore them. He didn't give me a straightforward answer. Then I pulled out all this lingerie and felt slightly uncomfortable, like he was going to ask me to put it on. I just threw it on the floor and continued going through the bin. Later, he was standing up and had his penis out and was touching it. He said something about wanting a blowjob before bed because he likes to fall asleep while getting a blowjob.

• I had two huge keloid scars on my left upper ear and had to take my earrings out.


• There was a gas leak in the basement of a building. I was watching kids from work and had to protect them and get them away.

Dreampt that I was at a lunch table. There was a South African gay guy there who was flirting with me. I saw Ben at another lunch table and I went to say hi to him. I had all this pizza that I'd ordered that I needed to take to-go because I wasn't going to finish it all. I felt silly for having ordered so much and was having difficulty packaging it all up to transport.

Then, later, I was visiting Jordyn at her new apartment. I walked on her floor with my shoes on and she told me not to do that. She told me that it would ruin her floor. I told her that B has a similar aversion to me walking on his floors with my shoes on. Then I had this weird vision of a house that I might live in with B someday—like a little fantasy about what our house might look like. I was imagining where our room would be, either in the front by the front door or over down a little hallway. I was thinking about which location for our room would be safer in the event of a break-in.

I'm on a walk with Jordyn around the neighborhood and I'm carrying Lola in my arms because she keeps running too far ahead of me. Then we're at Cub Foods buying ingredients for Italian sandwiches. I worry about how expensive they're going to be. I keep forgetting that we have Lola there with us and I have to run around the store looking for her. Some old fat guy comes up and talks to us at the checkout. The lights go off in our checkout area. I grab the last loaf of bread from an old woman in a wheelchair.

I was in this big communal sleeping camp. There was a robot there that would patrol the camp and check to make sure everyone was asleep. I wasn't asleep. I'm not sure what the repercussions were for not sleeping. It was either that I'd have to buy something or it was something way worse, like death and torture.

I had another dream right in the morning where I was climbing on this log on some tropical island and it was dark.

I was in Oslo, Norway looking at pretty red houses lining a mountain side. There was a guy working somewhere in some building in Oslo and his job was to adjust or give people their legal names. He had these boards with the first name on the top and the last name on the bottom. For the particular name I saw, it was like: “Something” (for the first name). Then: “Something Primrose Henrik Something” (for the last name) and he edited it by writing “Primrose” again after “Henrik” but then noticed it was on there twice, so he began x-ing letters out in red marker. And he did it very well and I wondered if he got hired for his ability to x-out stuff or if he trained for it.

Camille booked a flight to Venice, Italy for only $600, but the flight transfer list was insane and seemingly undoable with some connecting flights landing at 11 with the next flight leaving at 11:12.

All the kids at school were sleepy, but it wasn't even close to nap time. Mary's kids kept getting picked up early to go with their parents for “bring your kid to work” day. I was talking to [preschooler]'s dad and I said something, a joke, about talking to one's own kid in a voice different from the voice used to talk to the kids at school, which he interpreted as not a joke and I was afraid I'd get fired.

Donald Trump is sitting outside some gate, some transfer area, and he has a death star next to him as some promotional thing. I walk past and he says hi and almost remembers my name (he calls me “Mara”) and asks how my older brother is doing. I say he's living in California now. Then Mom and I go through the gate. But then we go back around to the other side, so that we must cross through the gate again. I dread walking past Donald again after having said goodbye the first time. I fear it'll be awkward. Anyway, we do end up needing to walk past him again, and Donald seems to not want us to walk through and do a double goodbye either, because he gets up and leaves, like disappears. Closing his promotional thing like 20 mins early.

Holding a baby in my arms for a long time. Doing some tour of [city] at night. Going up an outdoor staircase. Someone from the group I'm with makes a bad joke. A woman passerby overhears it and says that the joke was horrible. I agree, but say it was just a poor taste joke and she shouldn't get overly upset. She then goes to tend to a homeless guy sitting on the steps and my group and I go up the steps to some city overlook.

I became lucid while watching a plane flying really close to the ground in a residential area. The plane began to nosedive then corrected itself and went upward which made it lose its lift and it spiraled down to crash. At first I thought to myself “wow, I can't believe I'm witnessing a plane crash,” and then I thought, “this can't actually be real, I must be dreaming.” And so I realized I was dreaming.

Then I was in a house. The house belonged to a Vanderbilt professor of B's, but he wasn't there. We were still allowed to be in there, though, I guess. There was a table of people. I was lucid and I went over to the table and tried to make eye contact with each person going around the table. I noticed that everyone would make eye contact with me for just a second, then look away. It happened over and over so I thought to myself “this must be some dream thing—that people only make eye contact for a brief moment.” After thinking this, I looked at dream-version Katie and she made eye contact with me for a long time. I remember thinking that maybe it's because we make eye contact a lot in real life when we talk (not necessarily true) and then I also thought that maybe my dream was over-correcting because it had listened to me think that about the avoidant eye contact.

Dreampt that I had a job at [flower shop] on Tuesdays only. Then I was yelling at my boss and calling her the c-word after I broke a device that looked like a little centipede with clear colored legs, almost invisible, which was connected to an AI, which I smashed the hardware for because the bug was there to spy on us (preschool workers) and see if we have been on our phones too much. And I thought that was such an invasion of privacy that I smashed the bug. Then I lied and told Mary that I'd done it by accident, because I'd “thought it was actually a bug.”

Mom and Cindy went to a donut shop and bought a ton of donuts. I grabbed one to try, one that was supposed to have chocolate frosting and sprinkles, but all the frosting and sprinkles had fallen off. This upset me and I didn't want to eat it. Cindy and Mom assured me it would be good, and told me that the reason it had no frosting was just because coffee had spilled on it and washed the frosting off.

Throughout the dream Lola didn't have a leg. I don't know how she'd lost it, but after a while it dawned on me that she wasn't going to just grow it back. Mom fastened her a peg-leg.

I was walking toward our house and I saw Lola on the lawn. I knew that she wasn't actually there, so I presumed that I was hallucinating. I watched as, after a while, she just faded away—vanished into thin air. Then I hallucinated Benny being outside too, on the other side of the driveway, walking around with Auggie walking around too. I was trying to tell Bryce that I was hallucinating, but that it felt so real. But I knew that nothing I saw was real. I also saw Lola as a puppy and saw Amy J. sitting on our lawn in a flashback memory, and two of Lola's toys that she had had as a puppy that I'd forgotten about.

In another part of the dream, I was planning on going to Grand Marais with Dad. Going on a trip with him to Grand Marais. And I was telling him what to pack and telling him that we could leave and drive at night for the first 3 hours of the trip because it is nothing but grassland but once we get to northern forest we can camp then the next day drive through the daytime up there because it's pretty. I also mentioned for him to bring his passport in case we wanted to go into Canada.

Joe Rogan subtly suggested that he thought I should take out my upper ear piercings. He said something about how the shape of them—the circle—“hoop”— was a symbol in ancient Egyptian

I was in a room in a house. The entire floor of the room was a very, very deep lake. The room itself was about the size of the bedroom in Nashville, but the lake/floor was very, very, very deep and dark and filled with fish. A guy there told me that there were many undiscovered fish in this body of water. Someone, or maybe even me, took out a fishing net and dipped it into the lake and pulled out a huge dolphin.

I go back to visit the center. I help [preschooler] get a splinter out of his hand. I complain to a new male employee about how the staff should “at least like children” to work at the preschool. I complain as we are walking out of the preschool and toward my car. He gets into my car and I continue complaining. Then we exchange contact info. I don't realize the car is moving as we are exchanging contact info.

I enter a museum of Victorian Jewelry (or something). There's an old guy sitting at a desk writing something. He lies down on the floor to sleep. I also lay on the floor to sleep. His wife and daughter come down from upstairs and think I'm stealing (or something). They seem mad at me. In fear, I wake up.

Had a dream last night that Ukrainian basketball players did a dance and at the end their junk fell out of their shorts and that was part of the dance. One of the players had super long balls as, like, part of an ongoing joke in the dance. I was a bit embarrassed watching this, as my whole family was there including Dad.

It was nighttime. I was downtown in some town with John K. and Cassie. I had been driving around, unable to find a parking spot. Then somehow we were out of the car and looking at some mural. I asked John if I could give him my keys and have him park the car somewhere else (I guess I parked in a no parking zone before we went to look at the mural). We walked back to the car. As we got close to the car, I saw that there was a cop right in front of me, also walking toward my car. I started running to get there before him, but I couldn't move fast enough. He ticketed my car just as I got to it. I was so frustrated, I tried to get him to understand. Tried to talk him out of giving me the ticket. I lied about how long I had been parked there—I said something about how I just got out of the car for a moment to have my friend move the car, which was true, but I had been away for longer than I was leading on, looking at the mural. I really believed my lie, though, as I was telling it. But the cop was unwavering and it made me feel powerless and more frustrated. I asked him if he was always this rigid with rules and more or less called him autistic. I got up close to him and sort of hit him on the chest, which I then apologized for and lied again and said that I was just regaining my balance, or something. He stepped closer to me and started sort of backing me toward the car.

I was at the park. The sky suddenly got very stormy and a tornado went over our house. I watched as it knocked off part of the roof. I went inside and started putting out fires. There seemed to be fires in every room. The inside really didn't look like our house. Charlie was also putting out fires in some other rooms of the house.

In a back room of the house, I discovered a small hidden room in the wall. It had wood-paneled walls, floor, and ceiling, and was small, maybe 3x3x3 feet. The room was sort of shaking, or rocking around. There was nothing in the room.

I was at a restaurant and Catherine, Nick, and I were encouraged to go to the bar to get a cocktail. I wasn't really in the mood for a cocktail, but Mom and Cindy were encouraging us to get one. Mac DeMarco was there and he asked me if I was going to hang out with him after I was at the restaurant. I said maybe. I could tell he was a little disappointed by that answer.

Then Catherine, Nick, Mac DeMarco, and I went to this building—this sort of open-air estate. We rummaged around downstairs. Nick was being particularly rambunctious. Then we went upstairs and a bunch of people who had been lying on the floor up there (hiding from us) jumped up, in unison, and said, in unison, the word “humiliation.” At the mention of that word, Catherine, Nick, and Mac DeMarco all fell to the floor and I was so freaked out I ran downstairs and out of the building.

Another “going back to the preschool” sappy dream. I gave Katie a hug and said truly how much I enjoyed working with her over the past year. I've had multiple of these dreams for the past two weeks. All revolving around sappy reunification with the kids and my old coworkers.